Online Dating
Welcome to SmartAss Clothing, our official blog on the web. Joe SmartAss, our leader, has something to say about a lot of issues and things in the world, but for our first blog entry, he chose to discuss the topic of online dating...This should be interesting. So without further delay, here is Joe SmartAss (a fictional representation of our founder's personality, not a real person named Joe...duh!)...
Hello blog junkies...It's me, Joe SmartAss, and I'd like to welcome you to SmartAss Clothing's blog, but I won't. If you are reading this, you are obviously addicted to blogging, blog-reading, and blog blog blog...so I won't encourage your habit...stop reading now....
Still here....man do you have it bad....OK, I tried to help you break the habit, but since I can't, you might as well enjoy what you read....so from now on, I'll be informing and entertaining you with my view of all things, from the SmartAss perspective.
Today's topic is Online Dating...or as I like to call it, "Cheap and destructive therapy for those who can't afford a shrink, have no self-esteem, and who's own friends refuse to hook them up with someone, anyone, even an ugly hermit." Online dating sucks...dating in general sucks, but dating online has taken the crappiness of dating to new lows. Take for instance, the site that is named after something you use to light a cigarette (not a lighter idiot, the old-school thing that comes in books of them). This site takes your money, they police your profile entries, and members who claim to be searching for exactly what you are offering, don't even have to reply to you if you email them, and you have no idea if they have even read your email, let alone deleted it. Members can view other members profiles anonymously, to avoid being contacted by that member, or to prevent your friends from knowing that you actually checked out other same sex members profiles for tips and ideas, or perhaps for something else entirely...Rainbow brigage watch out...This site Sucks!
Another incredible suckwad of a site is Y! Personals...and you should know what the Y! stands for you yahoo...if you don't, go back to the mountains in Kentucky, pull out your teeth, and whittle something out of wood. This site allows you to have a free profile, but if you want to contact someone, you can only send a pre-written, lame-ass "Ice Breaker" Like I read every word in your profile...let's chat, or What's the most interesting stamp on your passport? What the F---?! How about this for an Ice Breaker - Reality Style: "Before you call all your friends over to laugh their asses off at my profile or my pics, and before you delete this email in flaming glory, would you at least read my profile instead of just looking at the pics, and actually consider getting to know me?"
Let's face it, the truth about dating sites is that the ratio of women to men on these sites is about 50/50, but the useage ratio is overwhelmingly 80% men. That means that men are sending about 8 out of every 10 emails/ice breakers/winks/whatever the fuck on these sites, and women only about 2, if that, and those are usually the homely, fat, ugly, mutli-child women who watch Oprah, Home Shopping Club, and Jerry Springer. The attractive, decent looking, normal sounding, actually may be attracted to women never, ever respond. Why the fuck are you even on these sites if you aren't going to respond? Do you take pleasure and amusement at the hoards of men who email you each day, and somehow decided that this is the newest form of reality entertainment?
Ladies, let me ask you this: If a man walked up to you in a bar, introduced himself (Without using a lame pickup line like
and offers to buy you a drink would you just stand there, staring into the air, ignoring him completely while giggling with your cockblocker girlfriends until the guy walked away? Your mothers, who taught you better manners than that, and I would both hope that wasn't the case. I would optimistically hope that you might actually give a decent guy a chance to get to know you and buy you that drink, but at the very least, you would politely say "No thank you" and then giggle with your Cockblocker girlfriends as he walked away.
Internet/Online dating is no different than in person dating, and you should conduct yourself with the same manners and character that you were raised with. If you do this, you might actually meet a wonderful person, and no longer need to be listed on any of these lame ass sites.
And another thing, if someone writes to you, have the decency and the balls to write them back if you aren't interested and tell them that. Maybe even tell them why. First of all, honesty is the best policy. Second, a reply is all anyone hopes for on these sites. Third, if you were the one writing to someone, wouldn't you expect them to at least write back to you, if only to say they weren't interested? I am pretty sure you would. Lastly, when you do reply, DO NOT USE THOSE LAME-ASS EXCUSES LIKE: "I've just met someone and I want to see where it goes"! If you just met someone, what the fuck are you doing on a dating site? Turn your profile off dumbass...save the rest of us from wasting our time, creativity and effort on you. Be honest, don't hide behind some bullshit excuse like our values are different....you can't know that until you get to know someone...and you know that.
Online dating is taking over the world and our lives (If you are single), and making it impossible for anyone to even remember what it is like to actually talk to someone in a grocery store line, or at the park(flashers excluded). Pretty soon, the next generation of children will ask their parents how they met, and the answer will be "We Met on Craigslist" or "We met on MySpace" instead of "We Met at a restaurant. I was a waiter, and your mom was on a date with a real jerk. She ordered a BLT no mayo, and a side of fruit, and when I saw her, I knew instantly that I would marry her..." What the hell are you going to say? "I was reading posts in the Women searching for Men section, and came across an ad that read "SWF ISO Funny Guy" and I knew right there that I wanted her to send me her digital picture, so I could zoom in and check to see if she is really a woman or not...". Don't laugh, the world is heading that way...
Which is why SmartAss Clothing has introduced this shirt
At least this way, once you actually get past whether or not the person is really a man or woman, get their pics, and email them for a year, and you finally are ready to meet in person, wearing this shirt will help them recognize you!
Sarcastically Yours,
Joe SmartAss
www.SmartAssClothing.com
Clothing with Your Attitude
FREE Texas Hold-em Poker Tournaments at SmartAssClothing.com
Play Dirty Hangman at SmartAssClothing.com
Hello blog junkies...It's me, Joe SmartAss, and I'd like to welcome you to SmartAss Clothing's blog, but I won't. If you are reading this, you are obviously addicted to blogging, blog-reading, and blog blog blog...so I won't encourage your habit...stop reading now....
Still here....man do you have it bad....OK, I tried to help you break the habit, but since I can't, you might as well enjoy what you read....so from now on, I'll be informing and entertaining you with my view of all things, from the SmartAss perspective.
Today's topic is Online Dating...or as I like to call it, "Cheap and destructive therapy for those who can't afford a shrink, have no self-esteem, and who's own friends refuse to hook them up with someone, anyone, even an ugly hermit." Online dating sucks...dating in general sucks, but dating online has taken the crappiness of dating to new lows. Take for instance, the site that is named after something you use to light a cigarette (not a lighter idiot, the old-school thing that comes in books of them). This site takes your money, they police your profile entries, and members who claim to be searching for exactly what you are offering, don't even have to reply to you if you email them, and you have no idea if they have even read your email, let alone deleted it. Members can view other members profiles anonymously, to avoid being contacted by that member, or to prevent your friends from knowing that you actually checked out other same sex members profiles for tips and ideas, or perhaps for something else entirely...Rainbow brigage watch out...This site Sucks!
Another incredible suckwad of a site is Y! Personals...and you should know what the Y! stands for you yahoo...if you don't, go back to the mountains in Kentucky, pull out your teeth, and whittle something out of wood. This site allows you to have a free profile, but if you want to contact someone, you can only send a pre-written, lame-ass "Ice Breaker" Like I read every word in your profile...let's chat, or What's the most interesting stamp on your passport? What the F---?! How about this for an Ice Breaker - Reality Style: "Before you call all your friends over to laugh their asses off at my profile or my pics, and before you delete this email in flaming glory, would you at least read my profile instead of just looking at the pics, and actually consider getting to know me?"
Let's face it, the truth about dating sites is that the ratio of women to men on these sites is about 50/50, but the useage ratio is overwhelmingly 80% men. That means that men are sending about 8 out of every 10 emails/ice breakers/winks/whatever the fuck on these sites, and women only about 2, if that, and those are usually the homely, fat, ugly, mutli-child women who watch Oprah, Home Shopping Club, and Jerry Springer. The attractive, decent looking, normal sounding, actually may be attracted to women never, ever respond. Why the fuck are you even on these sites if you aren't going to respond? Do you take pleasure and amusement at the hoards of men who email you each day, and somehow decided that this is the newest form of reality entertainment?
Ladies, let me ask you this: If a man walked up to you in a bar, introduced himself (Without using a lame pickup line like
and offers to buy you a drink would you just stand there, staring into the air, ignoring him completely while giggling with your cockblocker girlfriends until the guy walked away? Your mothers, who taught you better manners than that, and I would both hope that wasn't the case. I would optimistically hope that you might actually give a decent guy a chance to get to know you and buy you that drink, but at the very least, you would politely say "No thank you" and then giggle with your Cockblocker girlfriends as he walked away.Internet/Online dating is no different than in person dating, and you should conduct yourself with the same manners and character that you were raised with. If you do this, you might actually meet a wonderful person, and no longer need to be listed on any of these lame ass sites.
And another thing, if someone writes to you, have the decency and the balls to write them back if you aren't interested and tell them that. Maybe even tell them why. First of all, honesty is the best policy. Second, a reply is all anyone hopes for on these sites. Third, if you were the one writing to someone, wouldn't you expect them to at least write back to you, if only to say they weren't interested? I am pretty sure you would. Lastly, when you do reply, DO NOT USE THOSE LAME-ASS EXCUSES LIKE: "I've just met someone and I want to see where it goes"! If you just met someone, what the fuck are you doing on a dating site? Turn your profile off dumbass...save the rest of us from wasting our time, creativity and effort on you. Be honest, don't hide behind some bullshit excuse like our values are different....you can't know that until you get to know someone...and you know that.
Online dating is taking over the world and our lives (If you are single), and making it impossible for anyone to even remember what it is like to actually talk to someone in a grocery store line, or at the park(flashers excluded). Pretty soon, the next generation of children will ask their parents how they met, and the answer will be "We Met on Craigslist" or "We met on MySpace" instead of "We Met at a restaurant. I was a waiter, and your mom was on a date with a real jerk. She ordered a BLT no mayo, and a side of fruit, and when I saw her, I knew instantly that I would marry her..." What the hell are you going to say? "I was reading posts in the Women searching for Men section, and came across an ad that read "SWF ISO Funny Guy" and I knew right there that I wanted her to send me her digital picture, so I could zoom in and check to see if she is really a woman or not...". Don't laugh, the world is heading that way...
Which is why SmartAss Clothing has introduced this shirt
At least this way, once you actually get past whether or not the person is really a man or woman, get their pics, and email them for a year, and you finally are ready to meet in person, wearing this shirt will help them recognize you!
Sarcastically Yours,
Joe SmartAss
www.SmartAssClothing.com
Clothing with Your Attitude
FREE Texas Hold-em Poker Tournaments at SmartAssClothing.com
Play Dirty Hangman at SmartAssClothing.com
posted by Joe SmartAss at 12:50 PM
1 comments
